Posted by Nadezda on November 13, 2008, at 22:06:10
In reply to Re: 'T' has trouble staying awake,2nd more story, posted by maysie on November 13, 2008, at 10:43:54
When you say, "I think he is a deeply unhappy, rigid man who can only tolerate a minimum of liveliness" you seem to me to be answering your own question. This is especially true given your goals in therapy, which are, among others, to be able to express and explore your potential to be "lively, vibrant, colorful, probably still shy, and agoraphobic, but fully alive...."
You can't really move in that direction with someone who can't tolerate liveliness.
And, really, so many of your responses to him suggest that he makes you extremely uncomfortable. You need to feel a sense of safety with a T, and I think it doesn't hurt if the person helps you to feel more interested in and hopeful about yourself than otherwise. That's hardly the feeling I get from reading your descriptions.
Maybe there are ways he responds that compensate for these deficits, which you haven't mentioned? Otherwise, it seems that his limitations are ones that would severely compromise your growth.
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:862737
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/862956.html