Posted by muffled on November 4, 2008, at 12:03:27
In reply to Life shouldn't be this hard - triggers, posted by DAisym on November 4, 2008, at 0:49:16
Wow Daisy.
Thank you for sharing this.
I'm sorry you had a rough time and are paying for it. For me it can take days to get over it, but then it DOES pass, all the craziness triggered in my head passes.
I'm sure glad you got a nice T.
I bet your T was quiet, cuz like you said, there are no words, just sadness.
I don't do 'it' cuz I just can't. I really liked Dinahs suggestions, though there is NOTHING on the list that I like. Though as she said, maybe its more <anticipation> of the terror, and if I didn't have that it would be OK....
Thats cool that seldom has done it OK.
I dunno why we even need to do the sex thing?
Maybe its sad we don't get to have whatever the heck it is thats is so 'special' about it, but then lotsa people have intimacy w/o sex, its real intimacy btwn friends and stuff. I don't got that either.
Gotta hide.
So I dunno what I trying to say exactly except that your post really touched me and got me thinking. And I have no answers for you. Just you sure not alone in how you feel bout this stuff.
I sure hope you can tell your man a wee bit bout the CSA stuff. I think its very important. It is NOT who you are, but it is a thing that has had a huge impact on your life and it will and already has impacted your relationship with him.
I mean, would you tell him about a physical thing? proly. Why does it have to be such a big deal if its a n emotional thing? Why does there have to be so much shame? I don't think Daisy is horrible or tainted or anything like that. Not at ALL. Daisy is who she is, and what I seen is she kind and caring and wise. Ya, and hurt too, but working HARD to get past the hurt and live as fully as she can. I see Daisy as a person who got guts, who keeps going even when if so so hard. Ya, Daisy was SA, but it was a hurt thing, Daisy didn't do that to another innocent, SHE was the innocent victim. So Daisy is NOT bad. Not gross. Yes, perhaps damaged, but willing to work on that. She is beautiful if only she could see that.
She does not perpetuate evil, she trys to help and do good.
Guess I talking to self too I suppose.
Hard to hear, hard to listen.
But it truth.
For both of us.
I think we can live good lives, mebbe not what we might wish, but I reckon I will keep stumbling along as best I can till God takes me home.
I shut up now.
this proly stupid
but I care
I want it to be a nice thing
me
poster:muffled
thread:860690
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/860743.html