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Re: Big trauma trigger for me (CSA) MAJOR TRIGGER » Phillipa

Posted by Partlycloudy on October 13, 2008, at 13:45:04

In reply to Re: Big trauma trigger for me (CSA) MAJOR TRIGGER, posted by Phillipa on October 13, 2008, at 12:58:32

> How a benign subject to me about first periods could have triggered this old memory is incredible to me. Not to be sarcastic, mean, or whatever think it was the blood that triggered the memory? Glad you remembered. Love Phillipa

No not the blood but the growth my body experienced - that's what my child's mind thought had caused the abuse. I grew boobs and so I was abused. If I hadn't started to grow up it wouldn't have happened? (Stupid kid thoughts.) That summer I shot up a whopping 8 inches in height. I remember my mom had sewn retarded looking extensions on to a pair of jeans (which I already hated) rather than buying me longer ones, because I had outgrown everything so quickly and we couldn't afford so many new clothes for me.

But it was right at the time when my body had all these outward changes that the abuse event occurred. And so I completely blamed myself.

 

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