Posted by DAisym on October 13, 2008, at 12:37:23
In reply to Re: Big trauma trigger for me (CSA) MAJOR TRIGGER » antigua3, posted by Partlycloudy on October 13, 2008, at 11:00:33
YOU did nothing wrong. HE hurt this girl - and you.
I know these questions so well - my sister came after me -- but as my therapist has pointed out time and time again, I didn't abuse my sister. Our dad did. And the awful, sad truth is, 35 years ago, even if you'd told, there wasn't much that would have been done. People didn't talk about such things and children weren't believed. CSA treatments weren't really established until the early 80s...can you believe that? I seriously doubt that you were the only victim in the year between - and no one else spoke up either. Why do you think that was?
If you don't have it, I strongly encourage you to get the book, "Courage To Heal" - It isn't my favorite csa book but it will walk you through what you can expect in the next couple of weeks and months. I think you are in shock, and with that comes the disbelief. And then anger, sadness and often suicidal feelings. And then around and around again. It is important that you don't force processing this memory alone. You need a witness to help you contain these events and you need to grieve what happened after. It is so terribly lonely to carry such a secret as a child. The world is too big and too scary.
I'm glad you were able to post here. Keep using all your supports. No matter what we say, it will take time for you to believe that this wasn't your fault. But it wasn't.
poster:DAisym
thread:857180
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/857198.html