Posted by lucie lu on October 5, 2008, at 18:49:58
In reply to Bad place, bad place (miscarriage TMI) + LONG, posted by FindingMyDesire on October 5, 2008, at 4:24:17
Finding My Desire,
I wish you were not so alone with this. There is something about losing a pregnancy that completely turns you inside out emotionally and physically in a way that few other things do. The physical pain is no joke, and the accompanying emotional pain only amplifies it. At a time like this, what you really crave is someone to completely enfold you and comfort you and make all the pain go away. It is natural that you would want your T and be hurting and angry that she is not here with you when you need her so much.
As for the question you asked, my advice would be that you go in and express to her all the feelings you have expressed here - maybe printing your post out, since it so clearly expresses your pain. It would probably be better for you to use words rather than gestures because the latter will leave you in a more uncomfortable emotional position. You may well regret expressing your anger that way, and that would just add to your pain and frustration. Simply tell your T how very, very, very angry and hurt you feel that you care so much for her and she's not there when you need her. You don't need to justify it. Your honesty makes a very powerful statement by itself. From what you've said, your T should be able to understand and empathize with the extreme pain you are in right now and hopefully be able to give you some of the comfort and support you need from her. And when the acute pain has passed, then she can work with you to understand and deal with those strong feelings. Llurpsie is right, your honesty has the effect of making other people want to reach out to you. I know I do, and your T must feel that way 1000-fold.
As you might have guessed, I lost a pregnancy and I remember how I felt. Even with people around, I felt alone in a very elemental and profound way. I have also felt what you describe about your feelings for your T. To deal with both of these things at the same time must be really, really hard. I'm sorry you are suffering, and that it is difficult to get the solace you need. At least you are not completely alone. Besides those of us who replied to your post, there must be many other readers out there who wish they could just send healing vibes your way and help you get through this.
((((((((((((((((Finding My Desire))))))))))))))
Love, Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:855824
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/855899.html