Posted by lucie lu on September 27, 2008, at 23:41:02
In reply to Re: Partners' feelings about your LT therapy? » lucie lu, posted by rskontos on September 20, 2008, at 13:26:16
> Lucie,
>
> I think at first my DH was not on board. But I believe he has now seen the positive benefits. Not to mention when I started opening up about my childhood, well let's just say he would rather have someone else deal with all that bad stuff. He had a hard time hearing it. And I did not tell him hardly any of the really really bad stuff. So like I say to JayJ, I believe he is relieved someone else is dealing with all this mental and emotional stuff. He will ask if therapy is going well. I say yes or no depending on the moment.I think it is really important that the partners be able to recognize that there's been a change, and particularly that it's been to their benefit. That must help a great deal. It must be much harder if the changes are internal. I think the outside changes have been significant over the past 6 years - I think he's not remembering what a mess I was. I think he thinks that I've just "grown out of it." At that time, my life was at a place that was very triggering so I was really hyper-activated. Hardly growing out of it, on the contrary, getting more and more dysfunctional. I think he's forgetting just how unstable I was when I started therapy. But even more than the tangible changes I see have been the internal ones, those that make it much easier for me to live in my own skin and not quite so tortured inside. It is so hard to try to convey how profound the process and its effects have been to someone to whom the whole thing is very foreign.
> As far as the money, my t who is also p-doc is not in my network so I have paid alot of out of pocket stuff and he says I am worth it so that is nice. He doesn't mind the money. I told him it was getting expense but he said that is ok. Do what you have to do. When it comes to health he is always for doing the right thing. It took him a while to understand that mental health is important too. He jokes that after I am done with my therapy he will need it because I will be ok and he is not.
There's a certain element of truth to that, though, isn't there? When one partner changes, the other cannot help but change too. So they change, whether they asked for it or not.
> As far as jealousy, he has met my t although he and my T did not have a session, my T is very professional and close to retirement age so I don't think he thinks of him as a threat. And he doesn' t understand transference at all. Not that I have that going on yet. I am still at the trying to trust phase.
If you're like me, that stage lasted a long time.
> I was going to therapy at one point three x a week, then 2, now 1. He never said anything about the frequency.
>
> I think overall, he sees good changes. I can handle my emotions so much better now.
>
> I am sorry yours is making it painful and difficult. As if you weren't going through enough.Thanks for the post and the hug, rsk :)
Lucie
Thanks
> (((((Lucie)))))))))
>
> rsk
poster:lucie lu
thread:853000
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/854543.html