Posted by Wittgensteinz on August 18, 2008, at 14:03:46
In reply to Re: Therapy tomorrow (**suicide triggers**), posted by Phillipa on August 18, 2008, at 12:38:47
I think it could be. Such a contract makes the topic unspeakable. The problem with promising not to commit suicide is that, when you are doing such a thing, or having those thoughts, the consequences of an unsuccessful attempt go out of the window - in fact most things go out of the window - the pain is simply so great that, well in my case, my desire to end it all, make it stop, get away from it, is at the forefront. If I was burdened by a conscience of the feelings of those around me, then I wouldn't feel so alone as to be suicidal in the first place, I guess. Basically such a promise is to sabotage ones own strongest desires, and that requires quite some strength.
It seems to be a bit of a paradox. I am curious if my T has ever been in such a place as that - if so, then he would possibly understand this paradox.
I am on meds - although, now there are no meds at all in the house (except for my dogs' de-worming tablets lol) as I consumed all of the others. I was on ADs and had benzos and Seroquel and some other stuff left over. I think a med change could be a good thing - but my pdoc just wants to put me back on the same as before, with some seroquel too (for obsessive thoughts, not psychosis). Maybe I should find a different pdoc. Another thought is to ask to be hospitalised in order to have the meds sorted out. But T doesn't think hospital would be a good place for me to be.
Sorry for a rambling reply. Thanks for your comments.
Witti
poster:Wittgensteinz
thread:846981
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/847024.html