Posted by antigua3 on August 16, 2008, at 12:29:58
In reply to Feeling shame and anger, posted by DAisym on August 15, 2008, at 21:05:17
You should cry! I'm such an advocate of crying because I can't do it.
It does sting when you feel like you're being told to move out of the nest and start trying your wings on your own. It's like our kids, when they start to move away and we are no longer the center of their universe. It hurts, but in your heart you know it's the right thing. Furthermore, when they leave home (mine is leaving this weekend for Europe!), and you've loved having them around, you still feel that awful loss that they are moving on, now matter how proud you are of them.
So, he's asking you to take your wings and just start to fly, knowing that you will be able to come back repeatedly until you're ready to fly on your own. And you don't want to leave. I understand that totally; My t and I have been back and forth on this, and each time I go a little further and don't need her for everything, but I come back again and again because I still need the encouragement, kindess and the love.
But it's hard. You may not be ready to do it yet, and if not just tell him. It does take a psychic shift and you can't just jump from A to B as Dinah suggests. I will tell you, though, it's worth the rewards, slowly but surely.
Just remember that he is there, and the nest will be there as long as you need him. He's not pushing you out, he's just giving you a gentle nudge because he wants you to start finding what will make you happier in the long term.
You are such an inspiration, and I love that while so many of us are traveling down this path, we all take our own road. It's the only way it can be.
take care of yourself, and don't beat yourself up about the depression. It exists. You can't just go away by willing it.
Now, could you make me some chocolate chip cookies? But I might eat them all.... Oh, Camp Comfort, where are you? I think we need to expand the camp to be a safe place whenever we feel we really need it. Think about it,Daisy, if there were a real Camp Comfort, you would be among friends who understand, and you would be making that move your T suggests. We could make a fortune...
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:846523
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/846665.html