Posted by Fallsfall on July 13, 2008, at 8:54:06
In reply to Confusion with understanding feelings, posted by Annierose on July 11, 2008, at 16:25:37
I like Dinah's "and" strategy. I have gotten much better about holding ambivalent feelings. Progress on this is possible. And I think it is kind of a relief to be able to do this. It means that you don't have to choose between the opposites. One less decision...
I think it is important to recognize that your feelings are yours - not any body else's. Even if "most" people would feel one way in a given situation that doesn't mean that YOU would feel that way. It can be helpful to try to figure out why your feelings are different from the majority, but your feelings are your feelings and even if your mother thinks they should be different, or if 99.9% of people would feel differently, they are still the feelings you have. Changing your view of a situation can lead to your feelings changing (this is what therapy can accomplish). But your feelings just ARE.
You are certainly not alone with these struggles. Keep working at it.
And try to believe that you ARE loved - by your therapist, your kids, me. You are not a bother and in the way - you are wonderful.
Love,
Falls
poster:Fallsfall
thread:839291
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080709/msgs/839534.html