Posted by raisinb on July 2, 2008, at 11:55:56
In reply to Happyflower, I'll answer that for ya ;o), posted by LadyBug on July 2, 2008, at 11:02:59
Hi Ladybug, I read your post and I felt so bad for you that this has happened. But I also feel terrible that you are blaming yourself--suspecting you're too needy and that should stop asking for support.
First of all, your T's actions were very hurtful, but they were HER failing, not yours. She messed up. It doesn't mean anything about you. This is a huge loss for you to deal with, and I'd hate for you to add layers of self-hatred to it.
Her demand that you confine your work just to "that hour," and not leave her any voice mails at all, seems way over the top to me. I could understand if she were too busy to talk you through something, say, more than twice a week (or whatever worked for her), but to outlaw voice mail altogether? I still think something you were going through triggered something very strong in her, and this was her move to protect herself. Therefore, the limit was meeting her needs, not yours, which means she screwed up.
Second of all, Babble is what support is for! If you want to take a break because things are too painful to talk about, everyone understands, but please don't take off because you think you should deal with stuff on your own. Nobody could deal with what you've gone through on her own.
Anyway. Take care of yourself. And maybe it is way too soon to even consider this, but have you thought about finding a new therapist? It is so tough to endure things like this without having someone there at regular times to help you.
poster:raisinb
thread:837641
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080616/msgs/837648.html