Posted by raisinb on May 4, 2008, at 11:09:21
In reply to Something I read today got me thinking, posted by rskontos on May 3, 2008, at 18:02:02
Here is what I would like to believe:
Memory *is* identity. But we choose how to remember things. Through healing, we take all the horrible things that have happened to us, integrate them, accept them, and take something positive from them. We transform the memories. Not the events, but how we choose to construct their meaning.
An example for me--my parents didn't love me. Maybe someday I can remember that as a fact, as a result of their own issues, their circumstances, not as a confirmation that I am unlovable. Maybe I can remember the little girl in that scenario not as a needy repulsive creature, but as a beautiful child I myself can love and maybe other people can someday too.
There is a type of therapy called narrative therapy. I think this is basically what they have you do--rewrite your story. Our identities to a great extent *are* the stories we tell about ourselves, but I think we can have a lot more control over the stories if we try.
poster:raisinb
thread:827028
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/827124.html