Posted by raisinb on May 4, 2008, at 11:03:18
In reply to Being Hurt, posted by Daisym on May 2, 2008, at 22:26:03
Daisy, I'm so sorry you are hurt, and that it damaged your vacation.
I used to have a friend who was a therapist (we had a dramatic falling-out, but she did give me some words of wisdom that I've kept with me). One of the things she used to say is that if we give others the opportunity to help us, we are giving them a gift. Most people--caring, good, honest people--truly want to experience themselves as caring, as making a positive difference in someone else's life (I know you feel that way yourself, right? :)).
I think sometimes the awkwardness comes when they don't know exactly what help you need. Do you want emotional support? Empathy? Or just a ride to work and some grocery shopping? They don't want to make your pain worse, so they hang back a bit. Also, as someone else has said, they might just not understand and know that they don't have anything to say. If you tell them exactly what they can offer, I think that helps.
Aside from that are your own feelings of being a burden. I agree with the others that of course your therapist would want to know. He cares too much about you to want you to hide that.
And sometimes, I have realized that there are people whose help I really *don't* want. Because it ends up being more burdensome to me than not getting what they provide (my mother, for instance, is a prime example). And if you feel that way, that's okay too.
poster:raisinb
thread:826923
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/827123.html