Posted by Dinah on May 3, 2008, at 12:20:27
In reply to Being Hurt, posted by Daisym on May 2, 2008, at 22:26:03
I'm sorry you got hurt. And while I admire you for making the best of it, I know how frustrating it must have been to need to do that when you were looking forward to not having to make the best of things.
Unfortunately the truth, or at least my truth, is that it *is* better to keep up a front. That most people don't want to know how you really are. They don't really want you to share. A small subset of the world wants to know the real you and see your real feelings. But we really are fortunate to have that small subset. Including our therapists.
Hmmm... I tend to feel like I need to keep my needs to myself when my therapist is feeling particularly good or particularly bad himself. I guess that's why they have all those boundaries in place. :( It *is* hard to handle personal stuff well, and not let it get in the way of therapy. In some ways, I think that's what I mean about my new phase of therapy. That it's partly seeing that he's a person with his own stuff going on, and managing to keep therapy going while also balancing recognition of that.
Of course just as I say that I'm getting the perception that he is retreating a bit into a blank slate. Maybe he didn't like my assessment of what was going on. :)
It's a balancing act in some ways. Managing to be happy for him and his good news while simultaneously being able to say "I am really glad for you, and now lets talk about my stuff."
(The something really wonderful doesn't happen to be anything that will have any negative consequences for you, is it? My therapist and I have an understanding. As much as I care about him, I reserve the right to resent anything that will affect my therapy. He *says* he likes the honesty of that. That most people feel it and he's glad I can say it.)
poster:Dinah
thread:826923
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/826997.html