Posted by backseatdriver on April 30, 2008, at 8:58:04
In reply to Re: Advice, please? » backseatdriver, posted by Phillipa on April 29, 2008, at 12:21:22
Phillipa -- I wonder if the suffocation is me or him (husband), if the problem is that I'm just not daring to breathe or if he really is behaving in such a way that I *can't* breathe. My sessions with my T sometimes mirror this. And sometimes it is me, and sometimes it is my T, holding me back or holding himself back, not wanting to say something or to dwell on a painful idea.
Funny thing about this T: He doesn't make me "feel my feelings." He encourages me to share what I feel and to be as precise and articulate as I can about it. But if something seems uncomfortable, he will actually change the subject! I used to feel shamed by this -- as if I had said something untoward. But no, he told me it was just his way of making the conversation less painful for me.
He can be anxious like that. Jumps the gun, changes the subject as soon as he senses my discomfort. I told him, slow down, we can stay with this, I need to stay with this. Let me take a breath, in other words, and exhale, and say something...
poster:backseatdriver
thread:826200
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/826391.html