Posted by Happyflower on April 6, 2008, at 20:22:28
In reply to Re: I want to hate my old T » Happyflower, posted by seldomseen on April 6, 2008, at 19:59:05
Hi Seldom,
Yes, things did end quickly, I just quit after he hurt me. I did have one last session while I was seeing my new T. But then again I started seeing him right after I quit the other one. (rebound T, lol)
On that last session I told him a lot and I probably WHAT I said sounded angry, but not how I said it. But I remember after I told him who I was seeing, he asked if I knew he did EMDR (he knows him very well). I said not only did I know, I got totally reeemed out the day before by it with my new T. Then I said I NEVER thought I would have to do it because of YOU. Well that got to him. When I saw him at the gym, he looked torn up when he looked at me. It as one of those looks I have never seen before in 2 1 /2 years. Then he sort of stopped coming to the gym for several months, I thought he quit.Then he showed up one day, I saw him leaving the lockers while I was talking to someone, he didn't say anything, but he made sure I saw him. Well it pissed me off seeing him, especially after thinking he was finally gone and me trying to get over him even during the time my brother and grandbaby died. Then I saw him later that week and waved at him running, he waved and smiled back. Then he was gone for another couple of months.
I saw him 2 weeks ago at the gym, he always told me he would never "recongnize" me or talk to me, unless I did first.
Well he walked all the way across the workout floor( out of his way) and said Hi to me. I was trying to ignore him, but I saw when he first saw me, he was very happy to see me, grins from ear to ear. I havent' been coming to the gym because of depression, so I don't know if he was there or not. But I pretended to get my ipod working and was looking down. I didn't think he would walk all the way to me. It is kinda funny, he tripped over one of the machine cords on his way to say Hi. lol I looked up and said Hi back, not so happy to see him, more scared I think.Then today I saw him and ignored him completely, didn't look at him at all, pretended not to notice him. I guess I have mixed feelings. I have talked and talked about this way beyond my currents T threshold of this subject. I just can't help the way I feel, I try to ignore that feeling I have for him, and it doesn't help. It has been since middle of July since I terminated with him, you would think I would be okay with it now but he is still in my heart. sick I know.
poster:Happyflower
thread:821833
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/821915.html