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Re: Wise wise words » raisinb

Posted by seldomseen on March 29, 2008, at 14:44:32

In reply to Re: Wise wise words » seldomseen, posted by raisinb on March 29, 2008, at 11:39:36

It's okay raisin. If it were easy then everyone would do it right?

What really sucked about my whole mess was that I couldn't trust myself to know what was safe and what wasn't.

I was just so accustomed to nothing being safe that the slightest hurt would set me on guard and shortly thereafter I was out of there.

For me it took a conscious decision to say "This may end up in the cr*pp*r and with me in the hospital, but I am going to trust this guy"

Needless to say, we didn't exactly ride off in the sunset together and the road has been bumpy.

But somedays he feels like this old pair of slippers that fits my feet perfectly.

I talked so much about the same things over and over again, but finally I was able to internalize the relationship somewhat. It takes a long time.

FWIW, my T didn't say he cared about me until just a few years ago. Most of the work on this matter had to come from my end. Now it's just so obvious that we both care that we don't need to say it very much.

My thoughts are with you as you struggle with this. It is a long long road, but ultimately I think it leads to a very good place.

 

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