Posted by sunnydays on February 18, 2008, at 22:23:51
In reply to Re: Therapy - Bang for the Buck? » sunnydays, posted by MissK on February 18, 2008, at 18:16:34
I agree, each in their own time. But I seriously didn't trust a single person in my life at the time I met my therapist. It wasn't just finding out what a therapist does - it was seriously for me about learning how to trust another human being. I'm glad that other people don't have to work so hard at trusting, because it gives me hope that the world really is an ok place. But like I said, trusting is a skill, and when you don't learn it in infancy, it can take a really long time to learn how later. And that it is safe and ok.
I knew I was seeing a professional - perfectly aware of that. I knew what his job was. But what I could not grasp was that there were people in the world who would not hurt me or criticize me. Even knowing that was my therapist's job, I still could not trust that. It was not about making a decision in my mind to trust. I wanted to talk about things, but the words literally would not come out of my mouth, I was so scared at the thought of being open with another human being.
I said that I don't assume that everyone with trauma history needs long-term therapy, or I meant to. I know people with trauma history who don't need any therapy. I have already said that many many people benefit from short-term therapy - I have seen the research and I believe it. But it does not work for me, and wouldn't have. As my therapist said a week ago when I asked why this was taking me so long, "We had no choice, we had to take this path. It was the only way for you to heal."
When I was too scared to tell anyone even the simplest thing about me, it took a lot to get over that. I wanted desperately to trust, but I COULD NOT do it (the capitals are supposed to be italics, not shouting, I wish we had that here).
I said I wish that everyone could understand how severely trauma CAN affect people - that includes severely enough to not even be able to trust a professional to do their job. Not everyone with trauma background has that experience for sure. I'm in a group with plenty of people who are different from me in that respect.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:813285
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080210/msgs/813525.html