Posted by muffled on December 14, 2007, at 18:15:41
In reply to Re: For those that see a P-doc/therapist...trigger » muffled, posted by rskontos on December 14, 2007, at 16:19:41
> muffled, the slow part
> that is the hardest part. i was never patient. i just dont remember stuff and think i need to in order to control stuff. I am only on topamax now and i think i need a p-doc for better meds. so i am going to call both male and female and see who has more experience with did and maybe even go see them if poss.*sounds like a plan to see p-docs.
Sigh, it IS a process rsk, takes time, please try and relax if you can some.
Also, don't panic bout remembering stuff so much. Y'know your parts have been there a long time, and have functioned ok. you managed to raise your kids with them. Maybe try and trust your parts some....they got you this far. Maybe there's upset now, but they have functioned mostly ok in the past. Enuf to get by anyways. So maybe, if you need to know, trust that a part will fill in the gaps a needed...
>
> I want to work on stuff cause i already feel like life is passing me by and i have done nothing. my h is happy and feeling like he is doing good stuff in life and what i do. i clean house. what a stupid job.*is there any chance of volunteering ? For me it is HUGE. The stress is minimal cuz i not getting paid. Yet, I do the besy job I can and get thanked and that feels GOOD. I also interact with others who are very accepting of my weirdness.
> like stupid job for stupid person. better yet i have turned into my mother. a has been that never was. the voices were ok for last couple of days and then yesterday before therapy everything got excited or something.*sigh....being a mother is the most wide ranging hardest job there is!!!! Mother is doctor, nurse, dietician, taxi driver, organiser etc etc etc etc etc etc. zIt is a hard transition when kids leave the nest.
Never say never, there are many older people doing many great things...rsk...your NOT THAT OLD!!!!!!
> in between therapy i can eventually go back to numb/dissociate enough but is that good?*Rsk....if it makes you feel better for a bit....then thats OK. You can't expect to give up all your old coping mechanisms at once. You replace them with better ones as you get better, but in meantime...its survival mode. And for now, as long as ypur safe, thats OK. Give yourself a break.
> cause i am depersonalizing (T's big word for losing my body or feeling like i'm having an out of body experience). I kept touching my leg the other day to make sure i was still attached.*Legs!! I did that in T last week! Usu its my hands, but sometime whole body. But I always come back, so i just make like I having a weird yet fun!(?)!!! drug trip and laugh....ok, I know thats weird, but WTF eh!?
> all these things are getting worse.*Proly cuz you need to relax.......easy to say....
>
> which ad are you on aggain*I am not on anything but xanax. Had some success w/zoloft. Others caused either more cutting, or bad thots, or anxiety. My T WANTS me on meds, but I haven't yet found one I like. I WILL take seroquel if have to.
>
> i will try thought stopping. especially with teen around my son she picks on him and causes fights. not good. i keep telling her she can hover or come up to listen to his music but no fights or telling him what to do etc. oh big me or mom can do that.*Ya you speak up! And with kids...remember you need to be consistantly firm...and if its a teen...you have approx 2 1/2 seconds to speak B4 they tune you out! Just keep trying....
>
> Do you ever feel like you don't know the real you?
>
*Sigh.....I pretend that *I* am me.....but i don't think I am, cuz I don't have memories, there is another that does....I suspect that one is *me*, the real me. I really hate to think of this. Also the one that spoke at T, that was not me. ITS SO CONFUSING. But its gonna be OK Rsk.
Just try really hard to relax, I think it will be faster in the long run if you can relax some. Otherwise its always crisis control mode as I used to call it....
take good care.
M
poster:muffled
thread:800770
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/800859.html