Posted by sunnydays on November 27, 2007, at 18:30:18
In reply to trauma processing no triggers, posted by llurpsienoodle on November 27, 2007, at 15:31:20
I wish I knew how to help you Ll. One thing I will say is that I'm proud of you for telling your T. It must have been soooo hard to say. Disjointed chunks is usually how I tell memories the first time - a lot of times I end up having to revisit them and they get more coherent as time goes on. And good for you for accepting the coffee! Mildly funny story - my old T used to always have a bottle of water for himself and at the start of every session he would offer me a bottle of water too. I always said no at first because I was way too anxious or not thirsty. Well, he started making a big deal about how I'd never accept a bottle of water, etc. It got to the point where I wouldn't have accepted one if I'd been dying of thirst because he would have been too proud of himself over it! So good for you for accepting the coffee. How did it feel to drink it in front of him?
Perhaps your T ended on that note not because he was trying to get you to forgive but because of something I tend to do all the time. I want to know how this could have happened to me or why it happened or how could X have possibly done this. And this may have been your T's way, however clumsily, of trying to get you to see why people do these things. My T usually tells me there is no explanation or that my mom was mentally ill or different things. But I could see how what your T said might feel hurtful to you or pressuring you to forgive. Can you clarify with him what he was getting at?
I hate the big black blank. Today in T I was talking about something and I have no idea what it is. I try to remember what we were talking about and I remember just before and just after, but I get to my T saying, "Maybe you could tell her..." and cannot remember AT ALL what he said I could say. It scared me enough so that I even said after he said it that I had no idea what he just said, it was totally gone from my mind. And it feels like it bleeds over into other stuff too. It's your brain's way of telling you it is overwhelmed and to take it easy.
Sleeping is a good thing to do I often find after overwhelming sessions. Can you pet your cat? Knit? Try to do whatever you can to keep your brain engaged and interested in something safe. It helps with the thoughts some, although when these things are so strong, there's nothing I don't think that will make them go away. You just learn how to tolerate them I think. Babble, call your T if it still feels overwhelming later tonight or tomorrow. But remember that was then and this is now. You are safe now. You are taking care of yourself now by going to T and going through all this stuff.
It's ok, Ll. Take care and stay safe please.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:797325
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071120/msgs/797348.html