Posted by OzLand on August 9, 2007, at 19:35:39
In reply to Re: Sorry to upset anyone » OzLand, posted by Honore on August 9, 2007, at 14:51:56
Thanks Honore and others. You are certainly right about being harder on ourselves than on others. I don't really want to fall back into the trap of thinking I am a bad person. I have not thought that for years and years. I am more afraid of getting back into an eating disorder as stressed as I feel, and I feel I am on an emotional roller coaster.
I have not eaten since Tuesday night except for some soup on Wednesday night. I ate tonight becasue my husband had fixed dinner for me when I got home from work, but I had to go make myself vomit as I felt really icky. I don't want him to know as I do appreciate what he did fixing dinner. Nice dinner of chicken, green beans, and baked potato. Oh makes me sick to consider though.
I am so dreading seeing my therapist tomorrow. I don't want to tell him I am not eating; not yet. I am afraid of what he is going to say about my email to him the other day and re his being late so that I miss out on four or five minutes of my appointments each time. I am his first appt. of the day, so what is it about. We always finish on time. He said he looked forward to discussing this with me, and my fantasy is this is it; I am going to be dumped by him just like my previous therapist wanted to do and was headed toward again when I dumped him. Sorry I am feeling very negative right now.
OzLand
poster:OzLand
thread:774336
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/775127.html