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Re: Thank you guys. about my decrepit dad » LlurpsieNoodle

Posted by OzLand on August 2, 2007, at 23:26:15

In reply to Thank you guys. about my decrepit dad, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 2, 2007, at 10:41:49

I completely understand, Llurpsie; my brother became a paranoid schizophrenic in later years and reigned terror on us in a different way. Wondered if I would live through the night or would I be shot and killed. So, it was double crap--csa and physical and mental abuse later. I hated him and I guess I still do and now also feels so guilty about it when he and my mother to a lesser but apparently significant extent are major players in my problems and demons of today. Both are dead now, and so it is difficult to hate them without feeling guilt. Stupid maybe, but it is what it is.

Now I guess I have all sorts of stuff for therapy tomorrow--my feelings of therapist inserting himself in me again wanting to know my favorite Ingmar Bergman film so the can watch it, and this whole issue of the hate and guilt re mother, brother, and I suppose father too who was physically and emotionally absent. Oh crap. Getting too morose now. Time to go to bed.
Oz


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