Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 2, 2007, at 10:41:49
In reply to Re: Just got off the phone with parents ***trigger » OzLand, posted by B2chica on August 2, 2007, at 10:15:17
Oz, the symbolism of our everyday acts can take my breath away. Sometimes I don't realize what I've done and what it means until years afterwards, in these little flashes of... oh.
B2Chica, thanks for extra hug protection against the real world. you are awfully kind. I hope you know that I take hugs seriously. Sure, I do little friend hugs and stuff, but this topic deserves a real hug, so I thank you. It helps lots.
****
re. my dad never changing... See, that's the great mystery. He had a series of mini-strokes several years ago that left him physically incapacitated and severely cognitively impaired. His personality completely changed. He was meek as a lamb. Didn't lose his temper. Mild. Grateful. Tearful. Sweet to my mom, and acted nice to all concerned. Oblivious to pain, and to the consequences of his own brain damage.Fast forward 3 years, and he has regained much of his physical functioning (still requires caregiving), and most of his cognitive functioning, except for retrograde amnesia of a chunk of time from about 1999-2004.
Emotionally, he is regaining his manipulative tempermental angry nature. slowly it invades his heart with cruelty and meanness towards those who love him (does my mom love him?) and/or care for him. embittered he strikes out, and then occasionally he retreats back to his land of meekness and oblivion. I never know what to expect. When he says things like he said yesterday about how he was always happy and only has happy memories, I believe him. But to insinuate that our brains and childhoods are alike and therefore I should be oblivious and cheerful is outrageous and very hurtful.
and so I don't want to have anything to do with him, and my brother is getting wise to the fact that all is not well in Denmark. Trying to protect my mom, who has empowered herself by taking control of the household for the first time in her lifetime. But I'm no longer going to protect the secrets. I already told my aunts about the abuse, and all my close-extended family know about my mental illness. ill at ease
So, that's my truce with Dad- if he turns into an *sshole again, he may not expect for people to drop what their doing in their lives and take care of him 24/7 for months/years. They may just institutionalize him and see him when *they're* ready.
-Ll
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:773398
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070726/msgs/773525.html