Posted by sunnydays on June 8, 2007, at 21:21:26
Do any of you find it hard to leave your T's office at the end of the session? I was so so sad to have to leave today - I actually started crying. I kind of thought I was in trouble when I was leaving because he brought up something at the end about medication which freaked me out a little. But I'm not in trouble about that and I know it. But I still was crying when I got home.
I just look in my T's eyes (which is very new lately, I used to hardly ever look at him) and I just wish I could fall into them and be part of his life. I wish he could be my parent and take care of me all the time. I told him today, "How about I not leave and I'll just sit right here (pointing to the corner by the couch) and no one will see me." He kind of laughed (it was a really affectionate sound, so I didn't feel laughed at) and just said, "I know leaving's really hard for you. But I'll be right here when you come back." And I cried some, and then I managed to pull it together and leave. Had to stop part way down the hall and just stand a second and take a deep breath before I had to pass the waiting room and the receptionist, because I hate not looking pulled together. I think my T was behind me in the hall, but I'm not sure.
Anyway, does anyone else find it hard to leave sometimes? And what do you do to lessen the emotional pain of being separated until your next session? I'm thinking I might call and leave him a message to say I miss him. I just want to tell him everything about my life. I want to tell him I saw a rainbow this afternoon that was really pretty.
Why can't I just live with him? Then I wouldn't have this problem. I wrote him an email and told him I missed him and I sort of was checking to see that I didn't have to leave because he didn't like me, that was just how it went, right. And he wrote back and said that nothing I was saying was dumb. And that me leaving has nothing to do with him not liking me, because of course he likes me. I feel so bad that I'm so insecure all the time and need so much reassurance.
Anyway, thoughts anyone?
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:761923
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/761923.html