Posted by pegasus on April 13, 2007, at 22:20:10
In reply to Re: thoughts about detaching from old T, posted by Honore on April 13, 2007, at 13:19:18
Thanks Honore. It's so confusing, though. It seemed at the time like everyone expected me to relinquish the old T more smoothly than I could. And so many Ts cut off all communication when they end therapy with a client, allegedly so that the old client-T relationship doesn't somehow get in the way of forming a new client-T relationship. So, it all sounded to me like I was expected to detach from him and attach to her. And then my experience was that that wasn't possible. Truly up until today, I thought that was because I was too messed up. And then I had this epiphany that I had merely derived a messed up message from the therapy culture. I like that better.
It does feel good to have been able to maintain a relationship with my ex-T, even if it isn't what I'd like it to be. He was/is an important person to me, and I'm pretty sure that's an ok thing.
And thanks for seeing that I've bonded with my new T. That's a sensitive point for me. I don't feel attached in the same way to her. Frankly it feels more healthy and balanced with her. But I thought maybe that difference was evidence supporting the therapy conventional wisdom about how communicating with an old T can prevent forming a relationship with the new T. Frankly, today I figured out why that's a bunch of crap.
peg
poster:pegasus
thread:749476
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/749631.html