Posted by pegasus on April 13, 2007, at 9:19:39
So, I just had this thought that I wanted to share. Some background is that I've been struggling with my lingering attachment to an ex-T who moved away 3 years ago. I'd give almost anything to be able to transfer my attachment to him to my new T, who is wonderful. But the fact remains that he is the one I'm most attached to. It's so painful. I have all kinds of negative feelings about how I've not been able to let him go.
Well, I was just thinking that in other aspects of my life, this ability to remain attached is probably really healthy! Maybe this is a symptom of me being well, rather than of some pathology I have. I'm thinking about my attachment to my distant siblings, and to old friends. I really value those relationships, and it's a good thing that I've been able to keep them active, right? I could have let them wither when I moved away. But my life would have been poorer for it, right?
So, maybe the fact that I've remained attached to my ex-T is a symptom of my healthy ability to keep valuable relationships alive. And this one is actually still alive. He's fine with me emailing him. He often writes back (briefly). And later today I'm having a phone session with him. This will be my third call with him since he left 3 years ago. It's a very big deal to me, but maybe that's not because I'm sick. Maybe it's just a symptom of how I was/am able to form a strong relationship with him!?!?
I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts. And it's totally fine if you want to argue the opposite position. I'm still feeling kinda unsure of this view myself.
peg
poster:pegasus
thread:749476
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/749476.html