Posted by Honore on April 13, 2007, at 13:19:18
In reply to thoughts about detaching from old T, posted by pegasus on April 13, 2007, at 9:19:39
Retaining your attachment is a wonderful thing. It means that the person and all they were able to contribute and to experience with you are still alive for you.
I remember and still have loving and admiring feelings for teachers from college and grad school who meant a lot tome. Those feelings seem part of keeping touch with what was worthwhile and made those times in my life good.
It's not different for a T. To have the good feelings for your old T with you-- is to me definitely a strength. If it prevented you from bonding to a new T or obsessed you and was an obstacle to engaging fully in present relationships, that would be different.
You don't need to assail yourself with doubts, You're lucky that you do have such memories-- even if at times there's a sense of loss (as long as the loss is not so much as to be a real hurt to the present). It sounds as if you're mostly aware of it as a good thing-- and have continued on.It sounds very much as though you've bonded with your new T-- who is different and about whom you have different feelings. Maybe not as intense, but that can happen in life.
I'm glad you keep in touch with someone who had so much to offer-- and that he's receptive and responsive.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:749476
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/749524.html