Posted by wishingstar on February 27, 2007, at 20:51:01
In reply to Re: cancelled thursday » wishingstar, posted by Poet on February 27, 2007, at 19:04:10
The police showed up at my door!
kdgjdkgjldftisk tisk TISK to a friend who shall remain nameless to protect the.. hm.. not-so-innocent.
I smiled and said no no, I'm okay. They left. Thank goodness.
Part of me wishes I;d gone with them. If it wasnt for this new job, I would have. But I cant miss days of work when this job is so, so new.
I just want to feel better.
I left another message for ginny. I said... ginny, <namesless friend> asked me to call you and i really dont want to talk, but im doing it anyway... and told her what happened tonight..
Part of me wants her to just FIX IT.. tell me its going to be okay and hug me and hold on to me and say its okay. Of course that wont happen. But part of me says NO WAY. I can NOT rely on you. And a small part of me says if im maniulative enough, maybe shell change her mind and let me stay on schedule. Mean huh? Thats terrible. It's NOT why I called her or why I'm freaking out... its NOT on purpose. But I'm hoping still. I hate that. Thats terrible of me. What makes me think Im so special?
Im not sure whether to laugh or cry or freak out or what to do right now. I've gone over the deep edge... deep edge? deep end? deep something.
I see my pdoc tomorrow.
Tomorrow I'll also be a therapist. Thats the funniest joke I;ve ever heard. I hope the therapist who I work with who lives across the parking lot from me didnt see the cop cars.. she knows which apt is mine and i DONT want to be asked about it. How great would that be?
You all can just refer to me as "the girl who has LOST IT" from now on, if you prefer.
Now what? Too much. How do I get throguh this? It's all just too much. Too hard.
poster:wishingstar
thread:736862
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/736906.html