Posted by Scentedgarden on February 16, 2007, at 13:20:14
In reply to Re: What should this T do? » Daisym, posted by pegasus on February 16, 2007, at 9:39:00
just my 2 cents worth again..as a safe place to vent...this is in my opinion only.but Im just fed up right now with the whole shabam..!
someone said it well, when they sais, "we are not hard wired for therapy".... " we are hard wired to fall in love"...therefore in my humblest of opinions, at this moment in time, I HATE THE WHOLE FECKING THERAPY SET UP..! .... It oozes with temptation, to become attracted to each other, therapist and the client alike.....and so just reading how all this has to have the sh*t analysed out of it makes me feel I want to puke therapy right out my mouth...! sorry if that offends anyone...but i developed a huge love for my therapist, and i know she has also taken me to her heart... it has caused both of us pain...more so for me though, as she after all has the ultimate control...
all im saying is if 2 people enjoy each other company, which in itself is nothing wrong about...its so sad we are hurt by it, and have to be supervised, and have to control ourselves...sometimes 2 people just click...imean for F*ck sake come on, its all a bunch of Bull to say transference aint reAL..!! (IN MY HUMBLEST OPININ I HASTEN TO ADD, SO IF YOU THINK IT AINT REAL PLZ DONT THINK IM TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR MIND...BUT IM SPEAKING MY MIND, AND THAT WAHT IM ON HERER FOR TO SHARE HOW I FEEL))) even my therpaist admitted to me that transference is just another word for feelings, but thats what is gets called in her game...
My therapist is a very mature and gifted woman/professional, she is a consultant clinical psychologist of the highest calibre, and has very good ethics, and morals....in my opinion.
the fact we like each other, or ignite feelings in each other that 'shouldnt be there' i say phooey... LOVE hurts sometimes.... but i can honestly say i wouldnt have it any other way..even although i thought the pain would kill me... I didnt die...and i know i can now move on and transfer that love i felt for her which i never thought i could feel again for anyone..to my future life, without her... Yes i hat her right now, but thats only tempoary. fundamentally I love her as human and i respect her as a woman i have grown to love... thats my experience... thats all, so plz dont think im dictating thats how it is for everyone in the loop of 'transfeckingference' cos it ain't...this is only scentedgardens life in this single post...and i just wanted to say wht i have said...readers can take it or leave it...
A million people could read what ive said and all have diff opinions about it... so im just letting you know this is a vent thats all..! not this is how it is according to scentedgarden and this is how it will always be...this is just me, and how I FEEL>>> I HAVE THE RIGHT TO MY FEELINGS... and like i say i wouldnt change them for the world...yes right now im hurt, and thats why i want to call her a bitch and hate her,,,but thats just me being silly and trying to protect myself in my pain...but underneath, i know what i know, and it wont matter what ... as everyone of us on this board are different... therapy to you will be different for therapy to me...
AS TO ANSWER THE ORIGINAL QUESTION...yes i think an intense therapy relationship can detract clients from using the energy by filling up their life with someone/people we can have a 2way open relationship with.... BUt at the same time in my case, i'd never have got to that place of being able to meet and get close to someone, and love again, if i hadnt had this experience in my relationship with her...
so i love her, and im grateful to GOD for giving me a woman who was able to click in a way with me that set my heart beating again...the child inside me who was dead....no one will EVER TAKE THAT away FROM ME AGAIN....!!!!
I LoVE MY THERApIST...she has never kissed me, or touched me inappropriately..never done anyhting way OTT to lead me on...we just gelled...it wasnt forced or collaborated, it just happened..
sorry i just realised this is the post after the one where someone asked if our relationship with T can interrfer in our real lives...i guess in my mind the 2 threadds are similar... APOLOGIES FOR GETTING MIXED UP...HOPE YOU DONT MIND..
i JUST WANT TO SAY THAT EACH THERAPIST MUST HAVE DOZEN OF PATIENTS...BUT THEY DONT FEEL THE SAME FOR EVERYONE...SO WHEN SOMETING REALLY INTENSE COMES ALONG, ITS USUALLY FEW AND FAR IN-BETWEEN.. just has to depend on the individual personalities involved on both sides...
but i agree with the person who said explore it witha good supervisor, and keep your own feelings in check...as to refer on a client just because she loves you, in my opinion is harmful, and damaging therapy...as it says if you love you will be rejected... big time..and the general point of therapy is usually to heal many hurts from childhood rejections...but thats just my 2 cents worth...God bless you - scentedgarden
P.S. sori 4 the spelling mistakes im sitting here cold and lazy, in the dark, cant hardly see the keys, and im alone on friday night feeling rather pissed off in general...as id like to be going to meet someons special...
at least im feeling ready for it...whereas prior to my relationship feelings for my lovely therapist who didnt dump me on someone else when i told her i wanted her to F*CK my brains out... and all the years of being in the room with her... im able to have a place open in my heart to try to love aomeone again..even although its scary as heck..as the therpay place is safe to love her..for someone like me, as i knew she'd never abuse me sexually or anyhting... i knew it, even although i wanted her to, i knew she never would...but the desire she invoked in me has been a huge part of my healing...
without LOVE flowing in the room and the intense raw emotional and erotic energy, i would not be able to say im almost ready to love again...and have a chance at some happiness for me...just like other normal people who have loving relationships..i had no chance before this happened to me...
okay, so i can call her a bitch yesterday, on here, because she is hurting me for reasons i cant explain to everyone....but thats my place to cal her a bitch if i want to...its only a cover to help me deal woith it... dont you ever do that?
but she aint really pulling my hair...she is now pushing me a way...as we are winding down, and she recently married...and i have a precious few sessions left... which have all come as a shock to me at once...simply becasue i was unable to face it head on, i knew but i knew as a bystander, not really able to face it all conciously..so when i did face it it hit me like a demolition ball in the stomach, for days and days and days..glad to say the pain is subsiding, and i didnt die...THE END
poster:Scentedgarden
thread:733176
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/733292.html