Posted by peddidle on February 3, 2007, at 21:56:28
In reply to to peddidle » peddidle, posted by cubic_me on February 3, 2007, at 5:47:35
> You sound so similar to me a few years ago. Dysthymia, then sudden bereavement with all sorts of things attached to it.
**The dysthymia (and adjustment disorder) diagnosis was relatively recent when the bereavement began. Although, I guess technically, I should have been expecting it. Up until then, I my diagnosis was OCD.
>
> I started therapy with a wonderful therapist, but I found it SO difficult to say anything. I'd reherse it over in my head, write lists of what I wanted to say when I saw her, but still only a fraction of what I wanted to say came out. After about a year and a half I started to get much better at talking (with a lot of gentle persuasion!), but I still find it really difficult.**I'm glad that you were finally able to work through it. A year and a half? Hmm....factoring in summer breaks and stuff, I guess I should be getting to that point soon, too!
>
> Unfortunately she retired after 2 years of me seeing her, and I went to group sessions for a year, where I didn't talk at all, but the improvement I made in therapy the first time has stuck with me and even though the two people I've seen since have said I don't talk much (and there was a lot of silence with one of them), they'd shudder to think what I was like before!**Good for you! I know what you mean-- I feel like I must have improved...at least a little bit. I can barely remember having said anything when I went to my first pdoc/T. Of course, the fact that I didn't like her couldn't have helped much. At least now I can have, and actually enjoy, light-hearted conversations with my T.
> I really hope things get better for you. Writing something and bringing in to session seems like a good compromise where you won't get more dependent on her between sessions. I usually found if my T picked a topic, I was more likely to talk about it because it seemed like she *wanted* to talk about that subject, whereas if I picked I'd think I'd be boring her about something she didn't want to know!
**Me too! The first thing she says when I walk in is "What's going on?" or something to that effect. Know matter what's on my mind, I always give her the same answer: "Nothing." It just feels weird to randomly say something. I feel like I need to let her take the lead in the conversation. Although, she's told me that she wants me to direct the sessions more.
Thanks for your advice. It's good to know that other people have had this same problem and gotten through it.
poster:peddidle
thread:728859
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/729487.html