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Re: Why can't I talk? (long...what else is new?) » toojane

Posted by peddidle on February 2, 2007, at 23:18:26

In reply to Re: Why can't I talk? (long...what else is new?) » peddidle, posted by toojane on February 2, 2007, at 18:13:54

> I'm glad you found it helpful (I find it so strange offering other people advice because I'm such a mess. That whole "do as I say, not as I do" thing. I'd feel more comfortable if I was sane and together and cured and could say "look, this definitely works" but I can't because I'm not. I am a work in progress)

**haha I can definitely relate to that!
>

> Hmmm. Can I share a conclusion I've recently reached? I don't know what problems you are struggling with but I assume you are not happy, perhaps profoundly unhappy?

**The big ones are dysthymia and complicated bereavement I think. Maybe some other stuff in there too.

There are many things you could do to try to cope but you have chosen therapy. If you are going to do therapy, then do therapy. I think I've just figured out it's not something you can really do halfway out of self-protection and hope it will still work. You have to jump in with both feet and really put all your effort into it. You have known your T for two years so you probably have a good sense whether she is trustworthy and ethical by now.

**She is trustworthy and ethical. I definitely know that now. I think last spring is when I really felt the true connection starting to grow.
>
> Do therapy, which means getting attached and talking about all the hard stuff and working through it. Or don't do therapy and find some other way of coping. But make a choice either way. It may bring you some peace.

**Wow, I never thought about it that way. I guess it's easier to see when you're not in the middle of it. My T always says that I'm passive-aggressive-- I have trouble making decisions, so I just kind of let things happen. Wow. I never looked at therapy as something that I wasn't doing completely. I wondered if she's looked at it that way...yeah, she probably has.

You know what? I may just have to tell my T about your conclusion. Of course, I say that now, let's see if it actually comes out of my mouth when I want it to. :P

Thank you sooo much for your insight, toojane. You have no idea.

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/729244.html