Posted by Honore on February 2, 2007, at 21:28:42
In reply to Re: Love with therapist, posted by widget on February 2, 2007, at 20:39:29
Hi, widget.
The power differential might be what makes the relationship so intense and compelling at this time.
You seem, to me, to be idealizing your T a great deal-- which is often a stage in the unfolding of therapy. However, eventually, one needs to learn that this idealization isn't reliable-- that it leaves out too much. The disillusionment can be painful, although manageable and eventually therapeutic- - in therapy.
If you've having a romantic relationship with your T, the disillusionment can be profound and even devastating-- esp. if it involves abandonment, or exploitation.
I notice that your T somehow hasn't told his family because the "time isn't right"-- I have to tell you, though, that that doesn't sound very promising to me. For one thing the "time is *never* and I do mean *never* right to tell one's wife and children that one is having a relationship with anyone, especially a patient. or-- if you're in love with someone-- the time is always right, because you feel committed to being with that person.
Also, I have to differ with you in one important respect-- you say your T is "beyond reproach"-- that, with all due respect, is precisely what he is not beyond. Even if your affair works out-- he has violated a very strong ethical duty-- to you, to his other patients, to the therapeutic community, and, on another level, to his family.
I'm concerned for you.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:1466
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/729208.html