Posted by LadyBug on January 22, 2007, at 11:34:05
In reply to Re: I HATE LIFE!!! Trigger » LadyBug, posted by Poet on January 22, 2007, at 10:37:18
I'm hanging in there. I set my alarm for early today so I could get up, shower and get my butt in gear. Now I'm back from running my errands. Sitting here having a hot chocolate and deciding to do so soul searching today. I'm home alone so I can do whatever it is I feel like for awhile.
I've been off work for over 12 weeks now from bilateral knee replacements. Both knees 5 days apart) I go to my Dr. tomorrow for my 12 week post op. We will talk about my return to work. I wish I had a better job and maybe they won't let me come back when they find out what my permanent restrictions are. I can only lift 25 lbs. and my job requires me to lift up to 50 lbs. Not everyday or anything like that, but I don't want to ruin my knees. They cost almost $60,000 bucks!!!!!!! And I don't ever want to go through that surgery again!!! This is part of what started my depression/anxiety, along with the failing marriage crap. My T has been so supportive of me, but I feel like she'd like to kick me in the butt! It's painful, but I have to survive it. I'm at my ropes end, isn't that when things are supposed to turn around?? Wishful thinking.......... I find myself crawling in bed hoping I can sleep life away, but then I wake up and realize nothings changed! I have to make it change, one step at a time and for now I guess it's baby steps for me!
Thanks all for your replies!!! I don't know what I'd do without my babble friends. You guys are awesome! You all understand like no one else. Thanks for the encouraging words. I appreciate it so much!
I see my T on Wed. unless I call and tell her I don't have it in me to come in. It's tempting for me right now. Avoid pain at any cost, and therapy is pain sometimes, most the time.
Love,
LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:725055
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/725171.html