Posted by Tamar on January 22, 2007, at 2:40:32
In reply to I HATE LIFE!!! Trigger, posted by LadyBug on January 22, 2007, at 0:31:00
> Please don't read this unless your bored out of your mind. It's totally negative so stop here if you need too.
You're allowed to be negative. It's completely acceptable.
> I hate life, I really do. I don't want to go to therapy this week. I know she's trying to help me by pushing me and finding ways to make me stronger. My T is surely frustrated with me.Do you think perhaps she's pushing you too much? Do you feel anxious about the possibility that you don't live up to her expectations?
> Why am I so depressed, have so much anxiety and why can't I just pack my things,move out and get on with my life??????? She makes it all sound so simple!!! And why can't I stop crying? I've been with my spouse for 25 years, just give it up and go on! Why is it so hard? Money? Ya, that's the biggest issue for me!!!
I never thought about money until I had kids. Now I think about it all the time. Needing to be financially secure doesn't mean you're materialistic or miserly.
> My job isn't enough to support myself. I did find 4 places to move to this weekend, but I didn't have the guts to call any of them!!!! I don't want to go see her this week, she will get tired of my broken hearted same old story sh**.
If she's a good therapist (and from what you've said before, she seems to be) she won't get tired of it. She'll understand that sometimes we need to say the same things over and over before we can come to any conclusions about what to do.
> I'd like to have things go well for me for a change. Therapy is only making me open up the hurt for an hour, then leave hurting more than I can bare by myself. Story of my life.
I'm sorry it's so hard. It's awful to feel that therapy makes things harder to deal with.
> Sorry I'm so down and negative, It seems to be getting worse. I don't want to up my meds. I've been at a level place for several years and don't want to get tangled up with adding this or upping that crap.
I can totally understand that. If it does get worse for a significant length of time, a meds adjustment might help. On the other hand, sometimes things feel much worse when you're leading up to a major breakthrough, so I hope you're coming up to one of those Eureka moments in therapy.
> I hate life and if I didn't have kids I'd.... who knows? But I love them too much to do anything to them. Life is unbearable for me.
Keep focusing on those kids. They love you and need you.
> Don't feel sorry for me, there's nothing anyone can do. My T will hate me for telling her how depressed I've become since I saw her last Wed. It's getting worse everyday. I even have my phone on silent so I don't have to talk to anyone. My family is all wondering what's wrong with me. They can't help me either. No one can but ME!!!
(((((LadyBug))))) Your T won't hate you. She will feel concern for you and want to help you.
I hope you feel better soon.
poster:Tamar
thread:725055
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/725073.html