Posted by caraher on October 28, 2006, at 20:48:41
In reply to Re: for Elaine » Lindenblüte, posted by ElaineM on October 28, 2006, at 19:18:50
Hi El,
I don't have anything brilliant to say... I just caught up on this thread (I've been busy at a workshop the past few days) and I'm sorry you feel so awful and have so much going on. I really think you need to refuse to let the conversation take the course your "T" wants it to take after only 15 minutes on you ESPECIALLY when he won't see a real T himself!
I can't help but feel that he has some kind of weird control thing going on. It sometimes seems as if he wants to see how much he can get you do by alternating inappropriate requests with acts of kindness. Like, in some twisted space inside his mind, he's thinking, "Let's see if I can get an ex-AN patient to start dieting to lose weight."
A family my wife and I were not-very-close friends with was torn apart about 6 years ago when the husband killed his wife and then himself. At the memorial service we spoke a representative of a local domestic violence help and prevention agency. We expressed our feelings of unbelief... the husband seemed a very charming, gentle man. She replied that it's quite common for there to be two faces to an abuser, one of which is probably what attracted the victim to him in the first place.
I hope your T is merely a very confused man, but out here in Babble-land we're going to form our opinions based more on what he does than anything else. And he has done and said enough really inappropriate and strange things that I can't help but worry whether he has some twisted motives and will harm you - probably not physically, but the injury would be no less real. Nobody here wants to see anything added to your woes!
poster:caraher
thread:697776
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/698584.html