Posted by ElaineM on October 14, 2006, at 22:22:22
Li - I'm glad you're immune. (((sunny)))
So much stuff is happening. For one, I'm starting to kinda distrust the board - like I'm scared of it or something. It doesn't make sense. Maybe I'm trying to punish myself and sabotage my only support. I don't know......but that's not what I was gonna say.
To make long story short: T has spoken to his old T! But he's only gonna have a few more sessions. The frustrating thing is that I can't convince him to mention me to the guy (even covertly). He just WON'T do it. But I keep feeling like it's not fair that he gets someone to talk to, and I don't. Well, I do talk to him, but you know what I mean. It takes enough of me to convince him to not bail on the idea of therapy for him, in general. He emailed me a summary of what he talked about there and you should hear some of it (I mean, I knew alot but he seems even more naked in his conversations with his T). Except for the Me part apparently. SO MUCH Love I can't tolerate it. Oh god. I will kill him and his love and goodness:"( He hurts so much....feels so much.... I can't stand how much he cares :""( He knows I have to not be his patient. Waiting hurts him. I can't stand his pain. I'm like a cancer. When he mentions love I want to just stab myself in the leg or something. It's just ....It's f*cking HARD. I can't explain!!! I couldn't make another understand. ...why couldn't he.... I ruin everyone.
poster:ElaineM
thread:694836
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061012/msgs/694873.html