Posted by Lindenblüte on October 13, 2006, at 20:23:46
She said yes, she had.
She said that our work is going to be long-term.
She said that I have many different facets of my identity that are not all in synchrony.
Some parts are very immature, and can only communicate via affect (expression of emotional states).
Other parts are very dominant and work pretty well- like my pleasant, bright, intelligent personality that wants to please you
Another part of my identity has a lot of fear.
My default mode of interacting in a face to face conversation is to adopt a stance of extreme emotional detachment coupled with a nearly seamless layer of witty pleasantries, appropriate dialogue, and pseudo-affect.
She said I'm brave.
Hmmm? maybe I get to have some inner children soon. That might be fun? or?
I think it might be a cool adventure to risk annihilation and actually reveal a real emotion at some level of depth. So far, my tears have reflected a sense of grief that I'm not able to connect with my emotions.
I always have this fantasy (it's a pleasant fantasy) of me finally being able to "lose it" and just have a total and complete break-down in a session. I think it would be absolutely amazing and life-altering.
I see too much of myself in Bree VanDeKamp. (oh, except her forehead is much more rigid than mine)
So, T says we have to work on getting these different aspects of my self to work together, rather than in opposition or in exclusion to each other. Sounds like fun huh?
ice cream, anyone? Haagen Dazs was on sale yesterday. I got 6 pints. mmm!
-Li
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:694584
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061012/msgs/694584.html