Posted by mair on October 13, 2006, at 17:57:26
In reply to annierose, i 'took' you to therapy with me..., posted by bent on October 13, 2006, at 12:29:31
I could feel your anger just reading your post.
My T and I spend a reasonable amount of time talking about "our" relationship mainly because I'm so reluctant to talk about any other relationships in any detail. She claims it's her job to give me what I need but it's very difficult to communicate that and honestly, most of the time I don't know what I want from her. When I have been able to let her know that I am annoyed (I rarely would couch it as anger) with her, she's been pretty good about helping me work through it. And mostly that means helping me figure out what she can do to make things work a little better.
I think Ts must have their antennae constantly out for infatuated patients, because I think they are a little quick to decide that we're frustrated with the limited nature of the relationship. But I'm with you - sometimes I am frustrated with the parameters of the relationship, but most of the time, I really don't want a different kind of relationship with her, I want a better relationship with her.
The other issue is how we can communicate a neediness and insecurity that I find shaming. I wrote about this in Tamar's thread. I need a mindreader, I think.
BTW - if I didn't speak up about things in the last 5 minutes of a session, difficult topics might never be aired. The key is really how she addresses this when you see her again.
Let us know how it goes.
mair
poster:mair
thread:694485
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061012/msgs/694555.html