Posted by Dinah on October 3, 2006, at 16:40:00
In reply to Hubby trubble**trigger?**, posted by muffled on October 2, 2006, at 12:00:51
I learned one very useful fact in sex therapy. I'd always been enormously reluctant to be honest about sex with my husband, for fear of hurting or offending him. But my therapist encouraged me to be honest about certain things, as sensitively as I could.
Lo and behold, it wasn't the end of the world, or my marriage.
I try always to be honest in a positive way, saying what I'd prefer instead of what I don't like.
So I can say that I prefer to be able to concentrate totally on him when we're touching sexually, so it's better for me if he gets my attention first, or if I'm not doing something else that I'm focusing on, or if we plan sexual encounters. While I learned that he thinks we plan a bit too much, and he'd prefer spontaneity.
So can you think of specific things you can ask for to make your experience "better"?
(No need to mention that better just means more bearable, if that's the case. "Better" still covers that.)
poster:Dinah
thread:691191
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060926/msgs/691569.html