Posted by LadyBug on September 16, 2006, at 9:44:36
In reply to Re: I am feeling some compassion for my husband, posted by happyflower on September 16, 2006, at 8:35:00
It's not a bit funny, I know, but I have to laugh because I was in the same situation in June when our anniversary came along. I didn't want to do anything with my husband. I tried to make a card, but I failed with having anything to say to him. He acted like it was just like any other anniversary. We had nothing to celebrate and I dreaded it just like you are right now.
When the day came, he wanted to go to a really nice place that we've loved to go to in the past, then go to a movie. I agreed to go to dinner but when that was over, I told him I wanted to come home instead of a movie. He bought me a dozen beautiful and unique long stemmed roses and gave me a nice card. It didn't make me have any feelings for him. Too late for that. I did enjoy my dinner and I was cordial. It's sad to think the marriage has all but failed and the damage has been done.
My husband has some pretty severe health problems, so I know I have some compassion for him sometimes. I'm sorry for his pain but there's nothing I can do to take it away. Maybe he has so much pain for all he's done to me and our kids. I don't know.
The day will come and go. You don't have to have any expectations from it. Just take it as it comes. I think breakfast souunds fun. That's always a treat to me since we never have time for that. (But I'd rather just go with my kids!)
Let him take the day to treat you, he owes you and he has to know of your broken heart and dreams. I know my husband knows of mine.
Let me know what you decide. Don't do anything you don't feel like doing. It will be ok. Everyone needs to eat right? Maybe he'll take you shopping and buy you something fun. Let him. But you don't owe him anything but your time in my opinion.
Take care and don't stress about it too much, it isn't worth it. Have a good day inspite of the struggles.
Hugs
LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:686492
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/686524.html