Posted by wishingstar on July 17, 2006, at 12:37:44
In reply to Re: hospitalization -- wishingstar, posted by Jost on July 16, 2006, at 21:14:50
Thanks for the thoughts jost. I did get through the night (obviously) and I'm at work right now. I always feel a little better at work.. preschoolers are a natural anti-depressant I think.
I need to make another trip to the library. I checked out a few recently but have been trouble getting through more than a page or 2 without losing my concentration. It's really frustrating as I do really love to read, but it's just hard right now. I'm going to try to find some more attention-grabbing books and hopefully find something that will do it right now. Reading is always a good escape.
I know you're right about friends. Unfortunately, my closest friend (who I havent talked to in a month or longer) cannot understand depression and just isnt someone I can talk to. He is 15 years older than me and cannot see past how lucky he feels I am for being so young and x, y, and z and therefore, should just wait until its sunny again and then things will be just fine (I wish!!) The others.. I guess I have no excuse. I think they probably would listen and would care, if I reached out.. it's just hard, you know? I wont try to give excuses or explain it because I know you all understand. And I know I just need to do it. I know.
There probably are doors ajar that I'm not seeing, you're right. I wish I knew what they were. The possibility of paying a pdoc out of pocket and just putting it all on a credit card has been there since the beginning, so I guess it isnt true that there arent any options, but I really would hate to do that. I dont need any more debt than I already have. But it's an option.
I really appreciate your understanding and thoughts. Really. Why does it have to be so difficult?
poster:wishingstar
thread:667573
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060703/msgs/667759.html