Posted by milly on April 17, 2006, at 13:37:25
In reply to Re: frightful row » milly, posted by Tamar on April 16, 2006, at 18:41:15
> Argh! Maybe he’s a bit jealous, and not sure of his place in your life after the changes that doing therapy has made for you? It doesn’t sound as if he’s handling it well.** that is exactly the problem, he really is jealous of babble and very jealous of my T and the changes in me are probably hard to cope with (he just wanted the T to find the 'old' milly and he's got landed with a 'new' milly, but if I let him stuff 'new' milly back in a box and revert back to what he wants I may as well give up)
> Let you stay? Is he threatening to throw you out of the house? Are you in danger?
***No danger, just let me stay part of babble.
>
> It doesn’t sound to me as if you want to have sex right now. I hope you don’t feel you *have* to have sex if you don’t want to. I tend to think it’s a very bad idea.*** You were right I didn't want to but he spurned me anyway so that didn't work
> Would it help if you talk to your husband more calmly, when you’re able to? I don’t know exactly what’s going on, of course, but his behaviour is NOT your responsibility. If he feels left out or neglected, there are other ways for him to deal with those feelings; he doesn’t *have* to be distant.
**thanks Tamar, it was good to hear that it's not my responsibility to make everything perfect (but that is what I always end up doing apologizing for stuff thats not my fault because it will make life easier)He does feel left out but when I've tried to talk with him often he's tried to make a joke out of it or brush it aside. Plus I can't talk to him about how I feel right now because it is all tied up with my feelings regarding the loss of my T and he'd only be really hurt if he knew how deeply I felt for my T.
> I hope you won’t feel you have to leave Babble because we like you very much and we’d miss you!
*** wow that was sweet I always feel I'm like a worm that nobody would notice if I was here or not
>And I don’t know how much support you have in ‘real life’ but I know that finding people who really understand can be quite a challenge.
*** there is part of me that holds back on 'real life' support, I'm not sure why probably because once something is said it is so difficult to retract it and there is such poor understanding about alot of the issues
Thanks, Milly
>
>
>
poster:milly
thread:633909
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060406/msgs/634150.html