Posted by jammerlich on April 17, 2006, at 0:46:40
I posted above about going with my teacher to talk to her relative who is a T. Well, plans changed. She just emailed me that her husband is ill and he doesn't want her leaving town during the week since she's going out of state for a few days over the weekend. She says once she gets back, regroups from the trip and gets some work done, we can re-schedule.
I KNOW it's unreasonable, but I feel sad, lost and abandoned. Of course she should be with her husband if he's ill. Of course she should. I know he had some rather serious health problems last year and I understand. Really, I do.
But I still feel hurt. Hurt way deep down. And I don't know if I really want to reschedule. The anxiety of going has weighed heavily on me and my body isn't holding up well. It's been 10 days since I told her I'd go and I've lost exactly that many pounds. Most everything that goes down makes a quick exit, one way or another. I could stand to lose 100, so it's not like this is an awful thing; but I feel horrible. Lethargic. No energy. I'm not sure my body could make it through another month of waiting. The anxiety is just too much. I don't know that it'd be that long, but knowing my friend, it easily could be. I can't have it hanging over me much longer.
I don't know how to respond to her email. Do I tell her how hard it's been and that I don't care to reschedule? I really don't want to (reschedule). She asked how I am. Do I tell her the truth? Or do I just not reply at all? If I do that, she might call. If she called, I'd probably start crying. I don't want to make her feel badly. What I SHOULD do is write that I'm terribly sorry her husband is so ill; and just leave it at that. I don't think I'm a big enough person to do that, though. And that makes me feel really rotten about me.
I need advice guys. And maybe some hugs and support too.
poster:jammerlich
thread:634047
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060406/msgs/634047.html