Posted by frida on March 31, 2006, at 9:53:59
In reply to of course i need to take back everything i said, posted by Dinah on March 31, 2006, at 2:37:15
Dear Dinah
I am so sorry for all this -
I understand.
I've seen my T for 5 and a half/6 years. She has saved my life.
I am sorry if this is not what you need to hear and if it doesn't feel healthy but losing a T of so many years is too painful, and I would try to avoid it even if it means changing or taking other decisions. But only if it feels right for you, it is your emotional health we're talking about, it is very important..
it might sound selfish but if i would tell my husband all this - how deeply you're hurting.
I have told my partner of 7 years (I know you can't compare with a husband and family of so many years..but) I would never move even if it meant economical benefits for both of us and our kids. He understood and agreed, he said that no amount of money could make up for having me by his side thinking about wanting to die every time and hurting so much. The rest is not essential.
After you build a long, intimate relationship with your T where you finally feel safe, for some people, I think that it is so life-changing -- that it is really really painful to walk away.
In my own case I feel my T gave me the safety I never had in my whole life. I can't imagine not seeing her ever again or terminating completely. I don't think it is healthy in T for T to terminate completely. I think the door should always be open for the client to come back. Life is short, we all need people, we all need a safe place- why should we try to be soooo strong, and keep it all inside and handle it inside- I am going off topic, but I am convinced that the door should always be left open and that as you've shared before, you don't stop thinking about the people you've loved. You just don't. They stay with you your whole life in some way or another. Once you've made such a powerful, life-changing connection, it will stay with you...I am sorry for not saying the right things, but I feel very strongly about this, and i hurt for your situation, I am sorry you're hurting this badly, I would just tell you to please think about yourself...your own emotional health...what you truly need...
Maybe there is some way to work this out- to see your T, to rebuild trust with your T- to have your family too.
I am sure they love you, they'd want the best for you...I hope you can find some peace and relief and do what is right for you...
i know things haven't been the same with your T either... :-( so that makes it extra difficult...
I wish you could talk about this completely, and from your heart with him and he could be there for you totally. I think the most important thing here is how you truly feel, your own needs, your happiness, your sense of safety in lifeI know i am not making sense, sorry, I just want to send you love and support,
Safe hugs,
Frida
poster:frida
thread:626821
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060325/msgs/627054.html