Posted by Daisym on March 29, 2006, at 2:12:59
In reply to You know what I think you should do? » gardenergirl, posted by Racer on March 28, 2006, at 18:30:00
I have my hand raised, tentatively, in the back of the room. Can I offer something?
Everyone has written what I would normally write. And they are all correct. The situtation stinks to high heaven. I wish you had the power to change it. But you don't.
No matter who does what, right or wrong, no one can change it. And that has to make you mad. And frustrated and terrified about what comes next. We all wish that the sick person would gracefully accept what is coming at them, or try to cope in non-destructive ways. But they usually don't. Why? Because they are angry and they can't change it. So they need to numb the pain, all of it, or at least as much as they can. That includes the pain of those around them.
It has been my experience that sick men sometimes pick fights to prove they can still fight. They are asserting themselves, essentially saying, "though I'm scared to death I will not go quietly into the night."
Support your MIL as much as you can, she is going to need it. I think support groups for spouses can be a blessing. Use humor and encourage her to find the humor too. Love your FIL as much as you can and forgive him as much as you can. And hug him as much as you can.
Your hubby too. I wish I knew the magic answer GG, I really do. Anger is such a big issue. Anger and that feeling of getting screwed. Shielf yourself from the heat of this anger. and vent off steam here.
Hugs to you,
Daisy
poster:Daisym
thread:625402
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060325/msgs/625920.html