Posted by Racer on January 14, 2006, at 16:44:16
There's someone whose behavior is making me very uncomfortable. She asks for me to "rescue" her on a regular basis, and I get to feeling guilty about not 'doing enough' for her. I do empathize, and I wish there was something that someone could do for her, but the bottom line in this case is that she needs to do something for herself, and instead she seems to create situations that are harder and harder to deal with, and more and more dramatically awful for her.
I don't know how much more to say, because I don't want ot write anything that could allow her to identify herself in case she comes here. I feel so bad for her, but I can't save her.
The latest is a health concern, and she has no one to help her. I can't help her, because it's contraindicated for ladies what want to be (or are, for that matter) pregnant. She wants someone to shop for her, and clean her apartment a bit, since she's too sick to do it herself. I'm very sorry that that's the case, but it's also not something I can take on, you know?
And I feel so guilty about not just stepping in and saving her. I have done what I can in terms of helping her research options for low cost counseling -- which is what she really needs, to examine why she would rather create dramas than address herself to life -- and suggesting options for health care, and how to get health insurance, and things to think about in terms of her next steps in life, etc. And she will listen, and agree with most of it -- and then call a few days later with another, worse, crisis.
At this point, I'm afraid to try to help, for fear she'll just continue asking for more-more-more; and I'm afraid not to help, because I'm afraid of what will come up next for her.
Can anyone make any suggestions? And, while we're on the subject, what is going on with all the guilt and all the drama? Can anyone offer up anything like, "You're experiencing Projective Identification on her part," or "she sounds as though she's experiencing symptoms of Dependent Personality Disorder," or "What's wrong with you that you don't just step in and do what needs doing to save her?"
Well, probably not the last one...
Thanks...
poster:Racer
thread:599087
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060110/msgs/599087.html