Posted by 10derHeart on December 2, 2005, at 19:47:53
In reply to Question to ponder, posted by annierose on November 30, 2005, at 17:23:14
> This is a hypothetical question for those of us who experience strong attachment with our Ts ...
>
> Suppose you had a "successful" childhood (parents that loved, respected and cared about you in a healthy fashion).Not hypothetical for me. My childhood was just as you describe. (and sometimes, boy do I have some sort of "survivor of loving, healthy childhood guilt" as I read here and elsewhere about the things many (most?) of those in longer-term therapy didn't have, and the suffering you had to somehow endure instead.... :-( It's beyond heartbreaking.)
>> You entered therapy as an adult for work related/stressful situation.
Pretty much. Presenting issue was lack of concentration, racing thoughts, blah, blah...suspected adult ADD....was correct....but depressed also...I thought all related to frustrations and pain that go w/coping with the ADD (very common comorbid stuff)....wrong, though, there turned out to be much more with me, but almost *nothing* before age 19 that seems important.
>>Would this type of client become attached to their Ts?
Well, gosh, I hope so, because you just described me to a "T." (sorry for awful pun there)
> I guess my question is, is it because of my neglected upbringing, that all these feelings are coming up in therapy?
Probably yes and no. Or yes, but not *only* that triggers them....otherwise, perhaps I am quite disturbed in some way that's really not acceptable at all...?
>> Do "normal" adults have an intense experience (from Pfingstegg's T) in therapy too?
I'll never claim the "n" word, but the way you mean it here, annie, I'm one example of a resounding "YES!" My feelings for ex-T (you can't likely name one I didn't have) were the most intense I've ever felt for anyone in my life, except my child.
The ones I have now for this T, while different, are often equally intense.
This is a fascinating thread. It just echos one question I've asked over and over to several Ts.... "Why? Why? My childhood was fine - better than fine - as far as I know. Could I be this way solely from emotional traumas experienced as an adult (and even those weren't so awful or unusual)?" I guess I ask because it seems impossible....or impossibly weak and pathetic of me. I know - that's pretty much irrational, but the "tape" in my head says... once an "adult" I should have been able to weather any of these without this scarring or deep hurt that's popping up all the time now, I mean, doesn't everyone else?...these are just life events.
I suppose it's the "what the *adult* should do" part that's in question. I notice I unconsciously set the word off in quotes there :-( <sigh>
Because it's becoming clearer and clearer that it's no adult who is so deeply and desperately attached to my T. But...but...this throws me right back to, "but my childhood was great, so why does some little, scared, "hungry" part of me seem to need SO MUCH from my T?!!" ...and off in circles it goes again.
Grrr!
poster:10derHeart
thread:583805
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/584760.html