Posted by daisym on November 30, 2005, at 20:37:24
In reply to Question to ponder, posted by annierose on November 30, 2005, at 17:23:14
I have wondered that myself and asked about it. I have a very good friend who has had the same therapist for three years and she doesn't seem at all attached the way I am, yet she adores her therapist.
Perhaps it is the underlying fear that is different. We seem afraid that we are too needy and that our attachment is unhealthy. For me, it is because I don't know what a "healthy" attachment feels like (leaving out my kids.) And I don't know how much need is too much need -- sort of like how many phone calls do you get to make before you are officially a pain in the *ss? Abandonment fears, separation anxiety, the need to talk about "our" relationship I believe comes from the deficiet in my childhood. My girlfriends simply don't believe their therapist is going to ever terminate or transfer them or simply disappear. They can not fathom why this is an ongoing struggle for me because reality has no bearing on the feeling.
The flip side is that there are plenty of people who refuse to allow the attachment at all. They leave when it gets uncomfortable.
Good thread...
poster:daisym
thread:583805
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/583884.html