Posted by Shortelise on November 22, 2005, at 22:38:42
In reply to Dang that fighting to relationship!, posted by Dinah on November 21, 2005, at 23:01:04
Dinah, I don't know what to say (my usual state these days. I'm pretty well but not thinking much) but want to let you know I feel for you. What an awkward position both you and your T are in.
If my T and I suffered the sort of trauma the two of you are going through, I would want very much to have the grace to give a lot to him, to forgive him everything, but I know, that like you, I would undermine myself.
I think what I might do is talk with him about anything else, talk about the weather, about our town, about the birds in the trees and the football season. I think I might bring things to a level on which we are both safe, and let things go on from there. Maybe go for a walk together if the day is nice. Maybe I'm completely wrong, but it sounds like you are both a little too delicate, too untrusting of yourselves - not each other. So a gentle, friendly approach might work?
Most times, it's not up to us to "caretake" our therapist. They have it under control, and the idea that we might want to caretake them is an indication of other things in ourselves. But at this juncture on your realtionship with him, why not try it, why not go a little farther toward him than you might in your old relationship with him? You can unblock the block between you, can't you? You seem to see it all so very clearly.
There, for what it's worth. I hope I am not saying terribly ignorant things that will upset you. It's ok with me if I say terribly ignorant things - just as long as no one feels bad!!
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:581098
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051118/msgs/581428.html