Posted by Dinah on November 22, 2005, at 18:09:31
In reply to Re: Dang that fighting to relationship!, posted by fallsfall on November 22, 2005, at 14:21:06
Wow. Did I really say that he wasn't a good therapist? That was awfully harsh of me. I must have been at my very least emotional when I said that.
I don't know that it's entirely true either. It's true that he's not big on interpretations. Even T3 likes to tie things in to my central issues more than he does, at times stretching things a bit to make them fit. He isn't really one to do that.
But... Well, maybe he isn't altogether wrong in treating me that way. He knows me well enough to know that definitive statements are likely to bring out the contrariness in me. He makes suggestions, or he asks suggestive questions, and makes me come up with my own theories.
And to this day I find it difficult to access my emotional side if I'm not in contact with him. Lots of times, at once a week therapy, I don't know what the h*ll I'm feeling, or to some extent, what the h*ll I'm thinking, until therapy.
I think it took a pretty remarkable therapist to coax that out of me, because at the time I began to see him it was so far hidden that I seriously thought I might have Aspergers. And there were those who agreed with me.
The skills it takes to do that may not be as clear cut or easy to see as the skills to challenge or make interpretations, but I don't think they're any less valuable.
It's happening now, and it's continuing to happen. Without my therapist in my life, I'm going to revert back to my as-if self. I don't know if other posters can see it in me, but I can feel it when responding to posts, or trying to respond to posts.
Is that a bad thing? I don't know. It depends when you ask me. At times I'd say it was a very productive way of life. At times I'd say it wasn't a terribly painful way of life, and thus superior to being in touch with my feelings.
But on some level, I know that it's a very limited way of life.
My therapist pulled me from that way of life, kicking and screaming at times. And while I won't pretend that he's the only therapist who could ever do that, I do think he's one of a small minority who could do that. I like T3 well enough, and I enjoy her insights, but she doesn't engage me emotionally. In fact, being with her accentuates my rational side.
Maybe that's not a bad thing. My therapist thinks it is a bad thing.
poster:Dinah
thread:581098
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051118/msgs/581337.html