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Re: Info? ***TRIGGER THIS THREAD*** » Tamar

Posted by muffled on November 9, 2005, at 22:33:42

In reply to Re: Info? ***TRIGGER THIS THREAD*** » muffled, posted by Tamar on November 9, 2005, at 17:54:12

> Hi Muffled,
>
> I find myself going off at a tangent and focusing on something related but not the most important thing.
If I imagined talking to him about the therapeutic relationship and the rejection thing I would have to face some things I really don’t want to face.

*I tell my T. I have a case of dumpmeitis. I keep reading into things that she must want to dump me.

It also takes a lot of trust. So we resist, we skirt around the edges of something and eventually it should become possible to begin to deal with it, maybe a little bit at a time. Well, that’s my theory anyway.

*Sounds a good theory.

> Having a clone would be very cool. Do you wanna go to a meeting for me next week? Or – even better – maybe you could talk to my T about the therapeutic relationship! Now there’s an idea I like…

*sure!what city you live in?Ha! I don't think you'd really want me to go to your meetings, there would proly be a fuss!

> About the sensitivity thing… how do you feel about that? I feel a bit embarrassed, like I couldn’t handle what everyone else could handle because I was weak or something. I’m trying to learn to think of it as just a normal part of the variety of human experience, but I sometimes struggle to be kind to myself about it…

*That is something we have talked about, I have an absolute THING about showing weakness. Went I started going I would crow how nothing scared me. turns out I was scared practically all the time!!!I used to be mean to myself about weakness, not so much now. But I still won't show it. I been way nicer to myself since I had that chance meeting with my inner child. That was SO cool. Now I don't hate myself so much.

> Well, I’m not in the habit of starting brawls in bars or anything. But sometimes when I feel really overwhelmed with rage I have an extremely strong urge to lash out. I was worried for a while that I might hurt the people close to me… so SI seemed like a better option. I used to feel that way towards my father when I was a teenager: I wanted to punch him… but in fact he ended up punching me instead. Fortunately we get on very well now…

*I used to have a thing about whether my T was afraid of me. I'm not too sure why. She kept saying she wasn't and that felt SO good.
Have you ever punched a person in rage? How on earth have you managed to work it out with your Dad??? I am terribly curious. Impressed.
Thanks again Tamar for sharing with me. It means alot I hope you know.
Muffled

 

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